申请哈佛大学成功的Essay范文

申请哈佛大学成功的Essay范文

My aim is creation. I love the idea of giving life to nothingness. Were I another person in another time, I might spend my whole life tilling the land. Just like the earliest farmers, the sight of dirt giving rise to carrots and tomatoes at my whim feels like a miracle. I like to randomly burst out in song. I like to shake my body. If I could I would be a pianist and a poet and a painter and a politician. Unfortunately, in all these disciplines my ability can't meet my enthusiasm. Where I can create, and break tired codes, is in the kitchen. With unlimited time and resources I would become the best pastry baker and the finest chef in all of the eastern seaboard.

I really like food. On some drab school days I cheer myself up thinking of the dinner awaiting me in the evening. Often I do a 24-hour fast to ready my stomach for a huge meal. Now, being served this food is fine. It's usually restful and rewarding to sit down after a long day to someone else's careful work, whether they be parents, grandmothers, or Little Caesar. But I've noticed a dull glaze in the eyes of those who cook every night. They're doing it not to forge the uncreated conscience of their race, as a hungry James Joyce might say, but out of sometimes love and sometimes duty. I know cooks whose "old standbys" wow me every time, but they haven't any pleasure in their labors. Care and duty are NOT why I want to explore food.

I love the whole culinary process, from seedling to grocery to refrigerator to oven to table. At each stage the elements grow more complex and my work far more deliberate. Peeling and coring an apple takes more intellect ion than planting a row of seeds. Yet I think I shine where order fades away: beyond rules and recipes, in that zone called It's Up To You. I decided to throw in a cup of yogurt instead of butter to my pound cake. No one told me that lentils, carrots, and a bay leaf would make a great salad. I just felt them together. And there was a unanimous vote -- me -- to add cumin and coriander to the spaghetti sauce. Sizzle. Bubble. The creation is imminent.

Someone like me needs to stand over that stove. I need to see the joy in my eaters' eyes when they say, "This is really good! How'd you do this?" Their simple joys are my creative release -- the critical acceptance of newness. In life and in the kitchen, I want to be the best in my field.

文书点评：

Sameer在美国的底特律长大，高中时他随着家人移居加拿大。Sameer有色盲和音盲这两个问题，他在他的申请短文时解释为什么对于他来说，他在烹饪的创造表现能力是有限的。他在文中很清楚地表达了他在追求烹饪达到完美而获得的快乐，而且在人生中他也会有同样的态度。

1、语言言简意赅、用词精准；

2、突出鲜明的个性特点；

3、语言富于变化；

4、中心立意让人过目难忘。

用词部分

burst out：突然起来,突然说出,爆发。 这个词能精准得突出作者唱歌张口就来的功底。

culinary： 厨房的；烹调用的

本篇文章从食物写起，“民以食为天”这种话题特别接地气，但是就是如此常见的事物上，作者却能突出自己的创造力，实属难得，可别忽略了，作者是个色盲。一个对烹饪超级热爱的人，在克服了自身弱点的情况下，能够做出非常具有创造力的食物，不得不让我们惊叹。

在申请过程中，每一个学生都有自己独特的故事可以分享，每一个人都是一个鲜活的生命，讲出自己独特的故事比较具有真实性，只有真实地故事才能打动人。期待所有的文书都做到真、善、美，从细节入手，充分突出自己的一个或者几个特点，这样才能给招生管留下深刻的印象，从而获得录取。